Madame Web Review

The movie starts off strong, at least in the sense that it starts off so weird that you can't help but cheer for it.

A scientist (Kerry Bishé) discovers a spider in the Peruvian Amazon whose bite heals; She gets pregnant very late.

A man accompanying her is looking for the same spider in the hopes that it will give him powers.

They find the spider, he shoots it, and he is captured by a tribe of spider-people, all dressed in what can only be described as spider web-loincloths and They take him back to a cave like many Spider-Tarzans, where they try to save him by biting one of the spiders (who gave him his powers and has healing properties).

She dies, but the baby lives, and we flash forward to New York City, 2003, when the baby has grown into Cassie Webb (Dakota Johnson), ambulance driver extraordinaire.

So it’s bad and boring, in addition to making very little sense. A combination as deadly as any spider bite.

In short, Madame Web is a  bad movie.